When you and your ex were a couple it was natural for some life tasks to be “assigned” to the person with the better skills in that area. It certainly makes life easier, but it also creates potential weakness in yourself over time. You become dependent on that person to handle those things. It doesn’t matter if it’s taking the trash out or dealing with technical stuff.
I’m pretty competent when it comes to technology, but my ex-husband is a total tech geek. It’s literally his livelihood. When I would bring home a new tech toy, or would have trouble with technical stuff, he’d be there to help if I needed it. Truthfully, he still is. He’s always been gracious in this way, even when we went through a short separation period early on in our relationship.
When Hulu sent me emails to inform me that I’d no longer be able to access Hulu on my BluRay player they included links to alternative devices that they would still support, but the links didn’t work. What!? So I called on my husband to ask if he would do research for me. I knew he’d be able to sleuth things out.
And he did. With some additional input from my son, I decided to try the Amazon Fire stick. OK, cool. Problem solved.
But wait, there’s more!
Carefully following the scant instructions for installation and set-up, I ran into another wall. I couldn’t get the remote to sync up with my TV, to connect. And the instructions for those particular steps were non-existent. Feeling overwhelmed by the complexity that has become the world of technology, I started to cry.
Where is that man who could help me with this?
Not in my house, not anymore. I so wanted to call him again and ask him to help me figure it out, but I thought, no, if I’m going to be a soloist, I might have to put my big girl panties on and take care of some of these things myself. Beside, I was pretty sure he couldn’t help me with this one. OK, deep breath.
I logged onto Amazon and found a technical support link right next to my order record and clicked on it. Sure enough, I was able to do an online chat with an agent who helped me get it all working.
A mini triumph, but a triumph nonetheless. Yes, I can do it! It’s harder than I might like, especially given the increasing complexities of basic technology. And it takes more of my time to deal with things like this. But I can. I think we need to know we can. And if we can’t, we need to get help, whether from a tech person via chat, or a friend or neighbor who has the same skills.
And sometimes it’s Ok to ask your former partner.
~~~ What About You? ~~~
What did he take care of that now falls in your lap?
Are you taking care of it, or ignoring that task, letting it pile up some how?
If you are taking care of it, are you doing it yourself, or have you found someone else who can help? (A very legitimate option)
How do you feel about having to take care of more tasks? Empowered? Drained?