Set Boundaries Like a Mo-Fu: Shouldn’t it Be Easier?

Self-Empowerment requires a certain level of assertiveness when it comes to what we will and won’t accept in our various roles in life: at home, at work and in friendship. In other words, Boundaries!

Boundaries point to what we require to be our best selves, to feel sufficiently safe and secure, and do our work in the world. When they work well, when there is agreement, they offer everyone clarity about “the way things work around here.”

Boundaries are equally important at work, in business and at home. They say that “I” matter, “you” matter and “we” matter.

Personal Relationships:

In a personal relationships, as much as we might like someone to be our everything whenever we need them, they can’t be, nor we for them. Nor do we deserve to be treated in ways that create confusion and stress.

At Work, in Business:

Companies establish policies and procedures to outline the way things get done, plus standards of behavior internally and with customers, so that people can do their best work, and the company can be profitable.

Depending on the circumstances and people involved, we may or may not believe we have the right to set boundaries, but we always do. What makes it difficult?

– Understanding our own needs
– Communicating clearly
– Knowing what’s a firm boundary and where/when we can be flexible
– Risking rejection and loss (they might not like it.)
– Keeping those boundaries ourselves!

Boundaries are an issue around the globe. But what can we affect? Our world. This is where we start.

Boundaries require Clarity

Without clarity, without awareness, and without self-love, it is much more difficult to be clear, and to execute. It’s not “the other” that’s the problem, although it sure feels like it! After all, if you’re not clear, how can they be?

The following 4 questions were adapted from an article on self-empowerment and boundaries by Bethany Webster. I offer them to you.

1. What am I taking in that doesn’t feel good?
2. What do I need to say “no” to so that I can more effectively live out my “yes” to the things I desire/value?
3. Are there any ways I’m violating the boundaries of another?
4. What are 1 or 2 current opportunities in my life to start, or enhance, healthy boundaries?

What about you?

What kinds of boundaries do you need to set – with yourself and/or with others?

What, if anything, has made it difficult for you?

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