Random Acts of Kindness Not Just for Strangers

Like the term “self-empowerment,” this whole Self-love thing is being talked about all over the place. But what is it, and why does it matter?

It’s about how we think and talk about ourselves, and also what we do with and for ourselves. The first, how we think and talk about ourselves, is probably the most critical since our thoughts influence how we feel, and our feelings influence our behavior.

How many times a day do you tell yourself how you shouldn’t Be Yourself? Are you aware of it, or is it so common place you don’t even notice?

I’m too much of this, I’m too little of that… (for whom???)
I should have said this…
I shouldn’t have said that…
If I do this they won’t like me…
If I don’t do this they’ll get mad at me…
Until I ________ I’m not really lovable.

Where is your attention? On the other! It’s almost always about the other. And, oh, how exhausting to be so constantly vigilant.

What if it were only about you?

What if to be your best self in the world you Get to actually BE Your Self? What if to have the people in your life that feel good to YOU, you must Love You First? That’s not our training though, at least not for many of us. Them, them, them. And then there’s “One day when… That’s when I’ll love myself.”

Let’s make “one day” today!

Let’s Talk:

– What is Self-Love for you, and how can it be expressed each and every day?
– If you are your own worst critic, how can you start to change that?
– What else arises when you consider self-love, and self treatment?


  1. Samantha

    Love this article! Such a good reminder to stop and tune in with myself! Self-love for me is stopping and listening to what my body is telling me. I try to express this daily by taking breaks, slowing down, meditating, and listening to my inner voice. I can start to challenge my inner critic more by not allowing it to guilt me into doing tasks that deprive me of my daily self-care… that would be a really great thing for me to be more mindful of. Sometimes I push through my day to day and forget to stop and listen to my body.

  2. Raven

    I love this Samantha! I think you’re right, slowing down and tuning into your body is telling you is the wisest thing you can do. Of course, the trick is listening to and understanding its messages, but this is the starting place.

    If you feel like reporting back here, would you let us know what happened when you successfully ignored the those little guilt nuggets that want to deprive you of your daily self-care? ~ Raven

  3. Samantha

    Exactly! It is the best way for me to tap into what my needs are, but sometimes I am too scattered to know what the messages my body are sending me actually mean. I really have to practice slowing down over and over to really “get” it.

    What happens for me when I am able to ignore those little nagging voices in my head is pretty magical! I find that a lot of tension that resides in my upper back releases (I tend to carry a lot of my stress in that area). I also find that I make better choices for myself throughout the day, especially when it comes to food! Too much stress = junk food or not eating enough throughout the day. I used to skip lunches and stay glued to my office chair so I could get more work done…! When I allow myself the daily self-care breaks my body needs, I am able to recognize when I am making poor choices so much better. It takes a bit of time and repetition before I completely feel myself again, but once I start I can see how important it is for me to do.

  4. Raven

    Sam, good stuff you’re sharing here. I can get lost in whatever I’m doing and forget about lunch, too. It’s like I’m all brain and no body.

    I find that, now that I’m “flying solo” I have to be more conscientious about making sure there is food in my house that I like, is nutritous and I can cook fairly easily. I actually lost weight the first year after separating from my husband because I wasn’t eating well, and I was nervous. For many, this would be a good thing (losing weight). For me it’s not. When it comes to lunch, it helps a lot if I have some left overs that are pretty easy to put together and heat up.

    It sure seems that you’re doing a good job taking care of business and paying attention to your body!

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